The "Body For Life" Challenge

This is the Body-For-Life introduction.  For the full story, check the Stories page.  

OK... so Gab and I are walking through Barnes and Noble one night and ran across a book, "The Body For Life Success Journal" by Bill Phillips  Inside were all of these photographs of people who had basically gone from "Flab-A-Lanche" to "Beach Body" in 12 weeks.  12 Weeks!  Here's an example:  

This guy is one of their "Grand Champions."  His transformation won him $25,000 from Bill Phillips himself.  After eating only twigs and floor sweepings for 86 days, I personally think he used the cash to buy a lifetime supply of corn dogs and Twinkies.   I could be wrong, but probably not.

After gazing at hundreds of pictures of "Arnold Horshack-turned-Arnold Schwarzenegger" we looked at each other and said, "You know what?  We've been pretty slovenly these past few months.  We need to get in shape.  Should we do it?"

Next thing we know, Gab's sister Kerri comes walking up and says, "Yep, let's do it!"

Our reply?  "Well Kerri, the book is $30, we don't really want to spend that kind of money."

She comes back with, "I'm buying the book for you and we're all doing it together!"

So, much like my run-in with the "Upper Hand Cleaner Salesman", we were sucked in.

Our diets have changed drastically, and we wake at 5:30 six days a week to hit the gym.  It's no small feat, but we're well on our way to buff-o-rama status.  In order to win one of 50 cash prizes, you are required to provide before and after photos of yourself.  The strategy with the before pictures is to look as miserable as possible.  Take some notes from the winner above.  Apparently, prior to starting this exercise program, he was too friggin' weak to even shave, and too much of a couch spud to get up and find his contact lenses.  He obviously didn't even have the energy to change clothes, as evidenced by the fact that he is still wearing the same bathing suit he had on when he went to summer camp at Camp DooSumLaundry back in the fifth grade.

Our before pictures have been taken.  The after shots will come once we're done with this whole thing on May 25th.  Note... some images may have been altered to protect the ashamed.

Here I am using the tactics employed by our Grand Champion above.  I have found some irregular swim trunks for $5 that have the Adidas logo on the wrong side (back instead of front).  I have also neglected shaving and shunned any hair care or hygiene.  The belly pooch is intentional, but well-disguised, dontcha' think?  Also notice the shorts tucked into the keester for added bonus points.  The socks are a nice touch, as is the "what channel is WRASTLIN' ON?" look on my face.

Before Front

Before Back

Gabby also did a marvelous job at making a "I Love Turkey Pot Pie" type face.  The makeup removal and "Just-woke-up-and-still-have-drool-on-my-cheek" expression adds to the effect.  The hair?  'Nuff said.  It's a sure-fire winner in my book.  In the picture taken from the back, she made sure to "tuck" her swimsuit a bit as well.  

Since these pics were taken, we have both lost enough body fat to keep a small housecat warm in winter.  We've also shed enough inches to appreciate moving our belts a notch or two.  Check back after May 25 to see how we did!

Before Front

Before Back